Uhhhh 1. Not a doctor, and 2. nothing I say here should be taken seriously, but sure!
ARALLYN GIVES HEALTH TIPS
Make sure it’s water! H2O is much more satisfying than H2O2.
Don’t pet platypodes, at least if they’re male. They’ll venom-spike your butt.
Heavy water will kill you if you drink it exclusively.
Don’t offend the giraffes.
Eat your kale! I don’t know why but people keep telling me that it’s “good for you”, so do that.
Mostly don’t listen to people who tell you what’s “good for you”, cause humans are mostly dumb. If they’re a doctor they might not be as stupid, but if they’re trying to sell you something, you still might not want to listen to them.
Try to keep the alcohol content in your blood under half of your total volume. I hear it’s essential to life.
Don’t be an asshole. It can lead to being punched in the face. THAT’S not healthy.
In the words of my grade 9 health teacher, “THE ANUS DOES NOT SELF-LUBRICATE” (no, really, that was her one consistent line throughout the semester)
Remember that you need to eat and bathe when you get engrossed in video games. Also move! Moving is good for you.
DON’T TRY TO LIVE ON PIZZA HUT FOOD. IT WILL MAKE YOU DEAD.